Why Not Us?

From time to time on our journey through Michael’s cancer, I’ve heard a few people say something like, “Why does such a good family and such a nice young man have to go through something like this?” It’s easy to be tempted to question God when you are going through something like cancer. It’s easy to ask, “Why me?” “Why us?” As a parent, it’s hard not to question why God is taking so many things away from your child.

But a question that I have repeatedly asked myself is “Why not us?” Why should I think that somehow, I or any of my family members should be immune from suffering? The truth is that over the centuries there have been believers who were far better followers of Christ than I who have gone through far worse.

In John 16:33, Jesus told his disciples, “In the world ye shall have tribulation.” It should come as no surprise then, when believers go through difficult times. Yesterday I preached on Mark 10:32-45. In the first few verses of that passage, Jesus outlines in detail his sufferings, death, and resurrection. I told the church, that to know Jesus is to follow Him, even on the road to suffering.

As American Christians, we have become so comfortable in our wealth. Most of us have never known persecution or true suffering for the cause of Christ. We have become so used to our comfort and ease that when God calls us to walk through trials, we can’t seem to understand why. Somehow, we are tempted to think that we deserve better. The truth is that we all deserve hell because of our sins. God has treated me and my family so much better than I deserve.

Today, when Michael and I were at Mott, I was mildly frustrated with the people who are scheduling Michael’s appointments. I have repeatedly asked that his appointments be scheduled after 9:00 AM, so that we don’t have to leave so early in the morning to arrive on time or spend the night in a hotel the night before. I have discussed this issue with Michael’s doctors, and they have agreed that there is no compelling reason why we need to be here before 9:00. And yet the schedulers have repeatedly scheduled us for 7:30 AM appointments for the next several weeks. And as I was politely making my case, yet again to get his appointments moved later in the morning, the thought came to me: “First world problems.”

We have been blessed with a level of care at Mott that, by far, exceeds any that I have ever received at another hospital. With one exception, every single person on the staff that we have dealt with has been extremely gracious and professional. The other reality is that in many places in the world today, a leukemia diagnosis is an automatic death sentence. We are truly blessed to have access to world class medical care. And if that means that I have to show up at 7:30 in the morning, I will show up with a grateful attitude.

This last week I spoke with one of my brothers-in-law on the phone. In the conversation he shared with me questions that my elementary aged niece has asked about Michael: “Is Michael going to get better? Why did Michael have to get cancer?” I told him to tell her that Michael is absolutely going to get better either in this life or in the one to come. All the indicators are pointing to him making a full recovery, but even if “the worst” happens, he will immediately be ushered into the presence of his Savior. He will immediately be freed from sickness, and sorrow, and pain. He will be set free from the power and the presence of sin, and the effects of the curse. What a glorious day that would be!

I also told my brother-in-law to tell my niece that one of the reasons that Michael got cancer was that our entire family would be able to experience the blessings of the body of Christ at work in ways we could not experience otherwise. God’s people have rallied around us and showered us with love, prayer, grace, and generosity in ways that have exceeded anything we have ever experienced prior to this. The cards, the gifts, the meals, the visits (in person and online) the Facebook messages and comments, the prayers, the $100 handshakes, the hugs, the tears, the phone calls, the text messages have all been a part of the body of Christ helping us bear our burdens. I cannot adequately put into words how blessed we are!

One new reality for us is that Michael has recently been dealing with pain in his knees. We found out today that this is likely a side effect of the high dosages of steroids that he was on in his first course of chemo. We were told that there may be damage to his knees and/or hips and that it could be either temporary or permanent. This damage could also have a long-term effect on his ability to play sports. The doctors ordered x-rays of Michael’s knees and hips, and we will likely find out the results next week.

Tonight, through tears, Sarah said to me, “Michael’s never going to play soccer again. He was so good at it! Why would God take that away from him?” I simply looked at her and said, “Why not?”

It is hard to watch something that your child loves get taken away from them. But we don’t know for sure if that will be the case. And even if it is, we serve a God Who is always only good, and who loves Michael more than Sarah and I do. I am striving by His grace to entrust Michael completely to His care, and trust that He will only do what’s best for him.