If Necessary

I recently had another pastor share I Peter 1:6-7 with me in relation to Michael’s leukemia. “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

There is so much to unpack here. First, God calls us to rejoice in our trials. While this seems counterintuitive, we can rejoice because of the living hope that we have in our resurrected Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (vs 3.) We can rejoice because of the eternal, incorruptible, undefiled, unfading inheritance that is reserved for us in heaven (vs. 4). We can rejoice because we are guarded by the power of God (vs. 5). There are so many additional things that we can rejoice in: that our home is in heaven, that death has lost its sting, that Satan is a defeated foe, the God is always only good, and the list could go on and on.

Second, this trial is temporary. We expect to be dealing with it for a few years which can seem like a long time. But in compared to eternity in heaven, a couple of years is a drop of water compared to the ocean. 50 billion years from now, this heavy, difficult trial will be a distant memory.

Looking at it in relation to Michael’s assumed lifetime (and I am well aware that God could call Michael home to heaven “early”), this trial should be relatively short. If Micheal lives to be seventy-five, the two and half to three years that we expect to be dealing with this disease represents approximately 4% of his life. That is not to say that what we are going through is insignificant. Cancer has upended our lives in multiple ways. But it is a small period of time when compared to a lifetime, and it is temporary.

Third this trial is necessary. That statement begs the question: Who decided that it was necessary for Michael to have cancer. It certainly wasn’t me! God, in His sovereign will, is allowing our family to walk this journey through cancer because He has deemed it necessary. The temptation is to want to argue, to want to question His definition of necessary. My sinful flesh naturally bucks against anyone other than me deciding that a particular trial is necessary for me or one of my loved ones. But who am I to dare to take the place of God? Instead of arguing, questioning, or bucking God’s sovereign will, I am called to trust Him. Which brings me to the third thing about this text that jumps out to me.

This trial is designed to test or prove the genuineness of my faith. It is also designed to strengthen and purify my faith like fire purifies gold. It is designed to grow my faith as I exercise it by God’s grace. Faith that isn’t tested and exercised in response to that testing is weak, immature faith.

A number of years ago, I got into weightlifting for a period of time. One thing that weightlifters will sometimes do is called training to failure. They will lift a weight as many times as they possibly can, until their body cannot physically lift the weight another time. The stress and strain that this type of lifting places on the muscles causes the muscle tissue to break down, then grow back much larger and stronger than it was previously. This particular type of lifting must be done with a spotter, who can help lift the weight off your body when you become physically unable to do so.

At times I feel as if God is stretching my faith to failure. I have had my share of trials in my life, but I have never experienced anything as crushing as watching my child suffer greatly and being utterly incapable of doing anything to relieve his suffering. And yet as God stretches and strains my faith to its breaking point, where I don’t know how I can continue, God also surrounds me and my family with spotters: brothers and sisters in Christ. These spotters have come along side us and helped us bear our burdens. Their prayers, encouraging words, and many other acts of kindness and grace have lifted our load significantly and have made this trial more bearable.

Fourth, the tested, genuine faith that God is growing in me is more valuable than gold, because while gold is temporary and will tarnish over time, my faith is eternal.

Fifth, the tested, genuine faith that God is growing in me will result in praise and honor and glory when the Lord returns. There is debate among scholars as to if this is referring to our genuine faith showcasing the glory and majesty of God to others, or if it is God’s praising and honoring us for our genuine faith. I believe both are true. Nothing gets an unbeliever’s attention like Christian who suffers well. But a Christian who suffers well will also receive God’s praise and honor.

It is my hope and prayer that God will continue to strengthen my faith and the faith of my family members as we walk this journey through cancer together, and that as that faith is strengthened, we will point others to our source of hope: Jesus Christ.

Michael is doing well. The last two weeks being off from chemo have allowed his body to recover and his energy levels to increase. He has been much more chatty recently, which Sarah and I have enjoyed. His numbers all came back high enough to resume his chemo today. We are looking forward to getting this course of chemo over with. If the second half of this course (which we are beginning today) is like the first, Michael should have a couple of pretty good weeks followed by a very difficult week and then a few weeks of recovery from the difficult week. We are looking forward to getting to his third course of chemo which we have been told should be much easier than his first two. And on the way, we’ll take one day at a time asking God for the grace that we need to glorify Him in the process.

At the infusion center where Michael receives his chemo, there is a large bell attached to one of the walls. When a chemo patient completes his final dose of chemo, he gets to ring the bell. Today we heard that bell ring for the first time since we have been coming here. A little girl has completed all of her courses of chemo and is moving on with her life. We look forward to Michael ringing that bell in a few years.